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"Laugh it up!" (Jokes)
Dad is from the old school, where you keep your money under the mattress—only he kept his in the underwear drawer. One day I bought my dad an unusual personal safe—a can of spray paint with a false bottom—so he could keep his money in the workshop. Later, I asked Mom if he was using it.
"Oh, yes," she replied, "he put his money in it the same day."
"No burglar would think to look on the work shelf!" I gloated.
"They won't have to," my mom replied. "He keeps the paint can in his underwear drawer."
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Sam and Ruth from Maine had just bought a new car when winter hit with all its fury."
"I wonder if the car has seat warmers," Ruth wondered.
"It sure does," said Sam, looking through the owner's manual. "Here it is: rear defrosters."
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According to my mother, she and dad decided to start a family soon after he became an officer in the Air Force. When months went by without success, they consulted the base physician, who chose to examine Mom right then and there.
"Please disrobe," he told her.
"With him in the room?" she yelled, pointing to my father.
Turning to dad, the doctor said, "Captain, I think I found the problem."
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