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The Scoop
By Scoop Jackson
 Scoop was born in Rhode Island and raised in Louisville and Chicago, but he
has never really grown up. His first real camping experience was in
Chain-O-Lakes State Park in Illinois, where he and his friends were asked to
leave by Ranger "Bud Dummy" for having a "loud" campfire. A decade later, Scoop
was fortunate to join his family in buying a campground in southern Wisconsin.
His next camping experience happened when he and Mrs. Scoop decided to be
adventurous and "tent it" while working one week. Either a misguided dog or a
disgruntled camper pooped in their tent. From that moment on, Scoop realized
that there are "Adventures In Camping" that simply must be captured and
recorded.
NEW BREAKFAST RECIPE!
Tent campers discovered a new breakfast recipe
recently when Mike Vickery of Machesney Park attempted to cook up some AM eggs.
He reached for the can of PAM to coat the frying pan, as he is careful about his
utensils.
"He's really a good breakfast cook while we're camping," said wife
Patty, "and he had some ham mixed in and everything. So we each had a bite, and
Mike said 'something's wrong'. So we thought it was the ham-maybe it had gone
bad."
"Then Mike said: 'This tastes like bug spray!' He spit it out all over
the ground. That's when I noticed that there was a can of RAID bug-spray right
next to the PAM. I had just started to swallow, and I managed to spit it out,
thank goodness!"
When asked for advice, Patty said this: "Always remove your
bug spray far away from the food items. But I must say, Mike and I didn't have
another bug problem all day. Nothing came near us."
They were wrong. It
rained that afternoon, and Mike got stuck in the mud. Well, not him, but his
truck. Helpful Tom Whitney of RV Sales came and dragged him (the truck) out. Tom
told this reporter later: "Mike had a funny smell about him whenever he spoke,
but I must admit there wasn't a single fly in the area."
ATTACK OF THE KILLER BIRDS!
Diane Briggs is fond of birds. She has cute
birdhouses all about her deck. Each weekend at her site she would peek in to see
if she had any new little friends. Alas, she found no new bird friends. She was
sad.
That all changed this past weekend when Diane was viscously bombarded by
killer birds that relentlessly attacked her hairdo!
"I was carrying in
groceries and yes, beer, and I was fumbling for my keys when something swooped
down and started pecking under my hair!" a startled Diane said later. "I thought
for a moment it was Tim giving me a 'love tap' (relaxTim is her husband-Scoop),
but I instantly realized he would have just grabbed the beer from my hands
first. Instead, I saw a bird fly away. It had an evil little look in its beady
eyes, and its beak seemed to carry a smirking grin."
Diane quickly composed
herself, fluffed up her hair, and started to open the trailer door. Suddenly she
was attacked from the other side, this time the evil little aviator flew under
her hair even deeper, as if seeking nesting material. Diane managed to bat it
away, and thinking quickly on her feet, ran to the site of her neighbor, Lisa
Laurich, who had once worn a construction hard-hat in a posed picture for a past
Scoop column, which involved her falling off a pickup truck loaded with lumber.
"I needed protection!" said Diane.
Unfortunately, Lisa was not there, nor
did she ever own a hard-hat. In desperation, Diane wrapped her entire head in
tinfoil.
OK, I made that last part up. But just the part about the tinfoil.
Diane made it safely inside, but she was quite shaken by the incident. Asked how
she felt, Diane said: "Bird-brained!"
Husband Tim had this to add: "That's
the last time she's gonna' feed those !#*!@# birds! Every time we go to bed,
there's twigs and feathers all over the pillows!"
You
can read more about Scoop's adventures and news at
www.scoopjackson.net.
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